{"id":1747,"date":"2008-10-16T09:00:26","date_gmt":"2008-10-16T13:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/?p=1747"},"modified":"2008-10-16T15:56:05","modified_gmt":"2008-10-16T19:56:05","slug":"the-next-time-youre-on-national-tv-joe-the-plumber-wear-a-t-shirt-with-your-businesss-logo-on-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/?p=1747","title":{"rendered":"The Next Time You’re On National TV, “Joe the Plumber,” Wear a T-Shirt with Your Business’s Logo On It."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\u201cI<\/a>
\nObama describes a nasty clog in his campaign. Photo by Jae C. Hong<\/em><\/p>\n

TO: Joe Wurzelbacher<\/a>, above, the Cincinnati, OH-based plumbing contractor<\/a> that John McCain and Barack Obama mentioned by name 26 times<\/em> during their debate last night (five times as many Joe Biden!<\/em>)<\/p>\n

Dear Joe:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I believe you have really great business sense. However, if you immediately follow my Seven Tips for Plumbing the Depths of Success<\/strong>, you are going to truly G-off<\/em>….<\/p>\n

1) Get an agent<\/strong>, and a role in the next [Scary<\/em>, Date<\/em>, Epic<\/em>, Disaster<\/em>, Meet the Spartans<\/em>] Movie<\/em>, as this week’s hot topic, next year’s trivia question.<\/p>\n

2) Start scooping up invites to all the award shows as a presenter<\/strong> and<\/em> the presidential inaugural in January (especially if McCain wins.) Come on, dude…14:58…14:57…14:56….<\/p>\n

3. Change the name of your company<\/strong> from what is, I’ll venture, a very “businesslike” Ohio Pipes & Plumbing, or whatever, to My Old Buddy Joe The Plumber.<\/strong><\/p>\n

WIFE: (despondent) Honey, look! The toilet overflowed again!
\nHUSBAND picks up the phone, starts dialing.
\nWIFE: Who are you calling?
\nHUSBAND: I’m calling My Old Buddy Joe The Plumber<\/strong>!
\nWIFE: (brightening up) GREAT! He’ll know what to do!<\/em><\/p>\n

4. Get Obama and McCain to do commercials<\/strong>, or, better yet, get a local video editor to cut up the debate footage, looping the duo saying your name over and over to the “Genius of Love” beat<\/strong><\/a>. Use McCain’s “My Old Buddy Joe The Plumber Out There” as the hook.<\/p>\n

\"Joe<\/a>5. Thank Barack Obama, John McCain, and thank God<\/em>,<\/strong> because if you handle this right, get off that couch, right, quit gee-whizzing<\/em> and aw-shucksing<\/em> about how amazed you were to hear your name 26 times<\/a>, and start spinning interviews into a discussion about your business<\/em>\u2014that’s what Obama did, last night, when he said, “Let me tell<\/em> you who I associate with…\u2014you’re gonna get a windfall<\/em>, and you won’t need to figure out how you’re gonna buy that plumbing business.<\/p>\n

6. Get to work immediately killing that internet rumor you’re somehow related to one of the poeple implicated in the Keating 5 banking scandal<\/a><\/strong>…something to which, incidentally, McCain, who called you out last night, has also been, perhaps dubiously, connected. (Coincidence?<\/em>)<\/p>\n

And, finally:<\/p>\n

7. License your likeness.<\/strong> Not a lot of white guys can pull off the bald head. You’re workin’<\/em> it buddy. Now you just gotta work some mugs, mouse pads, maybe do some spokesperson stuff for kids…and like I said, T-shirts…. I mean, the first time, with Obama, maybe<\/em> I could see you being logo-naked.<\/p>\n

But the second<\/em> time? There was no excuse for you appearing in that living room picture, above, without a business phone number across the front of your heather gray joint.<\/p>\n

UPDATE:<\/strong> Looks like Joe went backwards in time and took some of my marketing advice, below.<\/p>\n

No, seriously: I missed his Good Morning America<\/em> appearance today. But from the the still frame here…<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Check<\/a><\/p>\n

… it’s clear that, for this TV appearance, America’s favorite pipe handler made sure the pipe wrench logo on his polo short\u2014enlarged in the upper-right-hand circle here\u2014is super-visible.<\/p>\n

You’re a star, Joe. Now, remember what I said about asking McCain to do that commercial, when he calls you…and pay your taxes!<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Obama describes a nasty clog in his campaign. Photo by Jae C. Hong TO: Joe Wurzelbacher, above, the Cincinnati, OH-based plumbing contractor that John McCain and Barack Obama mentioned by name 26 times during their debate last night (five times as many Joe Biden!) Dear Joe: I believe you have really great business sense. However, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7,15,9,43],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1747"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1747"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1747\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1747"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1747"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1747"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}