{"id":3812,"date":"2009-06-02T09:00:10","date_gmt":"2009-06-02T13:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/?p=3812"},"modified":"2009-06-02T10:55:28","modified_gmt":"2009-06-02T14:55:28","slug":"worlds-greatest-chaste-scene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/?p=3812","title":{"rendered":"World&#8217;s Greatest Chaste Scene."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><object width=\"480\" height=\"390\" data=\"http:\/\/www.xtranormal.com\/players\/jwplayer.swf\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\"><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\" \/><param name=\"flashvars\" value=\"height=390&amp;width=480&amp;file=http:\/\/newvideos.xtranormal.com\/standard\/95229510-3f65-11de-95ce-003048d6740d_1_standard_medium-flv.flv&amp;image=http:\/\/newvideos.xtranormal.com\/standard\/95229510-3f65-11de-95ce-003048d6740d_1_standard_poster.jpg&amp;link=http:\/\/www.xtranormal.com\/watch?e=2009051222281376&amp;searchbar=false&amp;autostart=false\" \/><param name=\"src\" value=\"http:\/\/www.xtranormal.com\/players\/jwplayer.swf\" \/><param name=\"allowfullscreen\" value=\"true\" \/><\/object><\/p>\n<p>In Detroit-based filmmaker <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mtait.com\/contact\/\"  target=\"_blank\">Matthew J. Tait<\/a>&#8216;s animated short, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.xtranormal.com\/watch?e=2009051222281376\"  target=\"_blank\"><em>Zygote<\/em><\/a>, above, Bob has talked his teenage girlfriend into coming over so he can claim her virginity. Unsure she&#8217;s ready to take their relationship &#8220;to the next level,&#8221; the girl wavers. So Bob deftly parries, observing that his <em>previous<\/em> girl, a <em>mature woman<\/em>, wouldn&#8217;t have had all these issues.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a despicable, caddish move, played thousands of times a day. So why does this 2:05 piece have me howling with tearful cackles at the plight of these losers?<\/p>\n<p>Blame it on Tait and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.xtranormal.com\/\"  target=\"_blank\">Xtranormal<\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.xtranormal.com\/\"  target=\"_blank\"> Text-to-Movie<\/a> web-based software. With it, users create their own shorts, complete with avatars lip-synching dialogue you keyboard in. (&#8220;If you can type, you can make movies,&#8221; says the company&#8217;s motto.)<\/p>\n<p>By coupling the application&#8217;s wonkiness\u2014a gentle arm around shoulders leaves Bob&#8217;s limb hanging in mid-air\u2014with tightly warped dialogue (&#8220;My hymen&#8230;I&#8217;m embarrassed..it&#8217;s thick&#8230;like a disc of thick-cut Canadian bacon&#8221;), Tait fashions 125 seconds of rogue puppetry, where you know the actors are controlled by entities that truly mean them ill.<\/p>\n<p>[via <a href=\"http:\/\/website13156.com\/?p=199\"  target=\"_blank\"><em>Logan Walters<\/em><\/a>]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In Detroit-based filmmaker Matthew J. Tait&#8216;s animated short, Zygote, above, Bob has talked his teenage girlfriend into coming over so he can claim her virginity. Unsure she&#8217;s ready to take their relationship &#8220;to the next level,&#8221; the girl wavers. So Bob deftly parries, observing that his previous girl, a mature woman, wouldn&#8217;t have had all [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[48,42,26],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3812"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3812"}],"version-history":[{"count":25,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3812\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3856,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3812\/revisions\/3856"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3812"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3812"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/harryallen.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3812"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}