There’s a Twinkle in Your Eye.
No, I Mean Literally.

Question: If you were a dude, leaving your woman behind for many, many months—say you were going to Iraq, or something stupid like that—and, just before you left you gave her this piece of jewelry, above, as a gift. Would she think that you loved her more than life itself, or think that this was a passive-aggressive way of telling her you wanted to blind her?

Or, let me put it another way: Does ever spare inch of human acreage need something written on, stuck through, or hanging from it?

If you answered this question, “Yes,” thank Luxuo.com for this glorious news:

For those who are bored with ordinary contact lenses, an artist-designer in the Netherlands named Eric Klarenbeek has created what he calls The Eye Jewellery Project, for people who have been dying to dangle diamonds from their eyeballs.

Oh, great: That sounds like you!

Wait: Somebody wants to spoil your fun and simultaneously redefine “fashion victim”:

Dr. Brian Boxer-Wachler, an ophthalmologist based in Beverly Hills, warns that potential bleeding may occur as the string scratches against sensitive skin layers. “It looks like it would rub against the bottom of your eyelid as it swings around,” he said. “And so I would expect it to cause some irritation if it were to be worn for a prolonged length of time.”

Worry wart. Who is this guy? Clearly, he hasn’t seen the short movie of model Kelly Peelen wearing this contraption, right. If he had, he’d know that her pained expression comes from awaiting her loved one, not from having monofilament rubbing continuously against her peeper.