Entries from September 2008 ↓

In the Wake of 777-Point Wall St. Drop, McCain Proposes Brand New Plan for Economic Revival: “Everyone Marry a Beer Heiress.”

“I did it. So can you!”

As reported by The Onion, John McCain proposed his Marry A Beer Heiress for America Plan yesterday to a group of Detroit business leaders, as part of an economic package designed to stimulate the stagnant American economy.

“We can do it,” urged McCain in the speech. “Americans, together, we can do it.”

“This isn’t a government handout,” said McCain spokesman, Dan Beckner, as members of the House objected, saying that the GOP nominee’s plan was merely a bailout in another form. “No one is going to be given a beer heiress. You’ll have to woo one on your own.”

Barack Obama’s camp “slammed” McCain’s plan, saying that it discriminated against Americans who, instead, sought to get out of the recession by writing two best-selling books and making a speech at the Democratic National Convention.

Causing a Pile-Up From On High Up.

“This stuff stinks!”

Now, here’s something you don’t see every day: As dutifully reported by the U.K.’s Daily Telegraph, sexy ex-Spice Girl Victoria “Posh” Beckham, with her soccer pro husband, David, above, draws stares, but not for her dress, or for their new perfume, Beckham Signature Fragrance Collection, which the couple was debuting in New York at Macy’s.

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It’s a Story the Whole Family
Won’t Enjoy.

“Mmmm…smells like moose!”

When, two weeks ago, actor Matt Damon called the possibility of Sarah Palin ending up president “a really bad Disney movie,” not only did he mention a prospective employer in an untoward way, but he gave the good people at CollegeHumor.com a hilarious idea.

[via BoingBoing]

Maybe the Kids Didn’t Blow Hard Enough.

The fun ends here.

When I first saw this photo, I absolutely could not stop laughing: On the left is the packaging photo for a kiddie pool, a “water park,” it says. On the right is a picture of the actual pool once you unpack it. It’s almost like, it’s not a pool, but a fun way to teach kiddies about the concept of bait-and-switch.

[via Boing Boing]

All I Ask is for a Year in This Country.

Bet those mineral salts feel good…

Photographer Tim Gasperak’s visions of Iceland are so lovely I could weep.

[via Panopticist]

The Mac is Back.

I know you both got soul.

It’s a very strange detail, but ever since Bernie Mac died, I’ve been unable to watch reruns of his syndicated show.

I distinctly remember sitting in front of the TV, the very first night after he’d died last month, as The Bernie Mac Show came on. I tried to watch it, you know, in honor of him and all, but found myself succumbing to this dreadful sense that what I was doing was kind of morbid and vulgar. It wasn’t a grief thing, as much as it was a sense that what I was doing was false.

I hope this feeling goes away by November 7 when his final work, Soul Men—that’s the one-sheet, above—with Samuel L. Jackson and Isaac Hayes, hits theaters. (As we all know too well, Hayes died the day after Mac of an apparent stroke.) Or, maybe the sight of both Mac and Hayes will make me completely unwilling to suspend my ongoing disbelief.

A Parting Glance.

“My boyfriend embezzled millions and is in jail! Guess I’ve made the transition from teen roles, fer sure!”

A joint submission from the “I Learn Something New Every Day” and “That’s Why Women Can’t Stand Men” Depts. of MEDIA ASSASSIN, above: Photo of actress Anne Hathaway, found during an unrelated search, linked to the web site of—get this—Sideboob.org.

Motto: “A whole new view on breasts!”

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Sarah Palin is OUTRAGEOUS.


McCain’s VP nominee is just getting a free pass from the media. Can you believe the stuff she’s saying?

Money Can’t Buy You Taste.

What happened when Sherwin-Williams got seasick.

Proof? This 115-foot, Ivana Porfiri yacht, appropriately called Guilty, bought recently by Greek billionaire Dakis Joannou.

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Surprising No One.