Entries Tagged 'Sex' ↓

Casual Friday.


This is a Miami street, and, from what I hear, people walk around in all states of dress, or undress, this time of year.

My question, though: Does her bag really go with that outfit?

[via izismile.com]

Wow: That’s, Uh, Quite a Mouthful.


We’ve covered fellatio-inspired ads before, here, on MEDIA ASSASSIN. However, this print piece, above, offering to “blow” Burger King’s “Super Seven Incher” into the wide-open mouth of a customer is so perfectly awful that, as I post it, I’m actually still wondering if it’s real. (This other picture of it seems to suggest its veracity, however.)

As the amazing copyranter.com clarifies,

this ad via Singapore for the BK Super Seven Incher is the new leading “most overtly blow-jobby ad” I’ve ever seen, surpassing this one, this one, and even this one. Nice misogynistic touch making the woman look like a f%#@ing blow-up doll.

Meanwhile, a word to Gaviscon: Selling your white, thick, creamy, heartburn medicine on the promise that it will cool your insides “like a fireman came in your mouth” is going to really narrow your audience.

[via BuzzFeed.com]

Not That Kind of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em.


Finally, after 63 years—children’s toy Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots were created in the late 1940s—Red Rocker and Blue Bomber have decided to stop fighting…just in time for the “gay marriage” debate. Designer “Make Love Not War” T-shirt, $18, is available in all sizes from the usual suspects: Threadless.com.

World’s Greatest Chaste Scene.

In Detroit-based filmmaker Matthew J. Tait‘s animated short, Zygote, above, Bob has talked his teenage girlfriend into coming over so he can claim her virginity. Unsure she’s ready to take their relationship “to the next level,” the girl wavers. So Bob deftly parries, observing that his previous girl, a mature woman, wouldn’t have had all these issues.

It’s a despicable, caddish move, played thousands of times a day. So why does this 2:05 piece have me howling with tearful cackles at the plight of these losers?

Blame it on Tait and Xtranormal Text-to-Movie web-based software. With it, users create their own shorts, complete with avatars lip-synching dialogue you keyboard in. (“If you can type, you can make movies,” says the company’s motto.)

By coupling the application’s wonkiness—a gentle arm around shoulders leaves Bob’s limb hanging in mid-air—with tightly warped dialogue (“My hymen…I’m embarrassed..it’s thick…like a disc of thick-cut Canadian bacon”), Tait fashions 125 seconds of rogue puppetry, where you know the actors are controlled by entities that truly mean them ill.

[via Logan Walters]

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. Then It Runs Down Your Chin.


With its hint of nipple and textual/visual allusion to a cum “facial,” this classic 1970s print piece for Tipalet cigars, above, may be the most explicit of the 15 Sexist Vintage Ads in this collection. (As well, this one, for Tangee lipstick, proves that oral fixations aren’t new in the advertising business.) But for sheer outrage, you may like the husband showing his wife how to make his coffee, or better, this one for Mr. Leggs pants.

Hold it: In the ad, above, is that Vivica A. Fox?

Why Does the Cover of Bill Cosby’s Latest Book Make a Lurid Sexual Suggestion?


Shouldn’t the title of Bill Cosby’s 2007 book with Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint, Come On People: On the Path from Victims to Victors, above, have a comma after the word “on”?

Also, without it, doesn’t the title make an indelicate observation, or, worse, a licentious directive?

Continue reading →

Electric Relaxation.


“Relax yourself, girl / Please settle down….”

I may have finally cleared up for you what Q-Tip was actually saying (he told me himself) on the chorus of A Tribe Called Quest’s hit 1993 single, whose title I’ve also lifted for today’s post. But that track’s hook also summarizes the sentiment which drove the development of a medical implement that, today, is a common sexual aid: The vibrator.

In the 19th century, doctors were commonly diagnosing “hysteria” in female patients, a condition marked, according to historian Rachel P. Maines, in her book, The Technology of Orgasm, as characterized by ”anxiety, sleeplessness, irritability, v3barkeruniversalportablevibrator19nervousness, erotic fantasy, sensations of heaviness in the abdomen, lower pelvic edema and vaginal lubrication.” Hysteria was treated by inducing “paroxysm” in the patient, massaging her genitals until this state was reached. Manual methods, like the water massage technique, illustrated above, were applied. The development of early steam- or manually-powered vibrators, though, enabled doctors to stop using their hands and fingers for this task, while electric vibrators, such as this jackhammer-looking model, above right, made the process even more efficient.

If you’ve just read the previous paragraph in semi-disbelief, then said to yourself, “Hold up: In the 1800s, people were going to the doctor so he could get you off?”, you’re halfway there. Most people today would recognize “hysteria” as feminine sexual arousal. By categorizing it as an illness, however, Victorians avoided messy and uncomfortable discussions about the complexity of female sexuality and desire, relegating those discussions to the physician’s office, where they were, subsequently muted through categorization of the woman’s horniness as an illness. (There was no male equivalent of hysteria.) Argue producer/directors Wendy Slick and Emiko Omori, in their documentary PASSION & POWER: The Technology of Orgasm (a lot of title-borrowing today), hysteria “was a disease manufactured by doctors creating a lucrative clientele and a mutually camouflaged procedure that satisfied both” doctors and their patients.

Wendy Slick is a guest today on my WBAI-NY / 99.5 FM radio show, NONFICTION, this afternoon, Friday, March 20, at 2 pm ET.

hh-smallBut first, we’ll also talk with author Clive Young, whose new book, Homemade Hollywood: Fans Behind The Camera, right, traces another history: That of the so-called “Fan Film revolution—an underground movement where backyard filmmakers are breaking the law to create unauthorized movies starring Batman, James Bond, Captain Kirk, Harry Potter and other classic characters,” ones “which copyrights and common sense would never allow.” I wrote about Star Wars fan films for the much-lamented PREMIERE magazine, back in 2001, so I’m looking forward to the conversation.

You can hear Wendy Slick’s and Clive Young’s ideas by tuning in at 2 pm. If you’re outside of the New York tri-state, check out our stream on the web. If you miss the live show, dig into our archives for up to 90 days after broadcast.

I’d Say That’s Pretty Much a Relationship-Ender.


Bosch GSA900E 110V 900W Sabre Saw, used “when cutting into tight crevices”

As I’ve said here before, I don’t tend to do “Strange But True” stories on MEDIA ASSASSIN, but this KTLA.com clip from a week ago possessed such an extreme quality that I had to press it forward:

Woman Hurt in Sex Mishap Involving Power Tool

LEXINGTON PARK, Md.- A woman is recovering after being seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy.

A man who called 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was flown to Prince George’s hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter.

County law enforcement officials say no charges will be filed, calling the incident accidental.

Wow. Can you imagine the screams that came out of her?

Now, a test: Which of these Darwin Awards nominees was the bigger bonehead: The man who, certainly, proposed that he and his partner utilize a tool made for cutting tree branches in foreplay, or the woman who agreed to let some guy stick a rapidly-moving saw blade into a working orifice?

I don’t know. But as Judge Judy would say, you two should never, ever have children, and from the bare details of this piece, that may now be an impossibility, anyway.

The Year of Living Sexually.

2008 calendar

Charlotte, NC public relations consultant Charla Muller had a problem.

Her husband, Brad, was about to turn 40, and she needed to appropriately commemorate the date. She wanted to give him something unique and original, something that nobody else would think of giving him, “something so dramatic and different that Brad would never ever pause to remember what I gave him for his fortieth birthday.”

She thought, and thought, and strategized, and when she finally told her husband what she wanted to give him, “he literally fell over”:

Sex. Every Day. For a Year.

Her story of their experience, 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy, tells how gettin’ it on every 24 hours “transformed a marriage.” But as opposed to being a diary of Charla and Brad’s technique, “it’s a book about the ups and downs of married life, trying to have it all (and failing) and figuring out how to get back to the basics of a grounded, faith-based marriage,” Charla says on her web site.

Charla Muller is the guest today on my WBAI-NY / 99.5 FM radio show, NONFICTION, this afternoon, Friday, January 16, at 2 pm ET.

Slingshot Hip-Hop artFollowing my conversation with Charla, I’ll also be talking with Jackie Salloum, director of the documentary Slingshot Hip-Hop, right, and Ora Wise, education director / associate producer of the project.

The film covers the resistance against Israeli occupation in Palestine as it is waged intellectually by hip-hop artists in the region. Some may recall that I wrote about Jackie’s film and the Palestinian hip-hop scene, back in the March 2008 edition of VIBE magazine, and here, on MEDIA ASSASSIN. As well, I subsequently spoke about these subjects on WNYC Radio’s Soundcheck program, with host John Schaefer.

Given the logarithmic escalation over the past three weeks of the ongoing atrocities in the region, I’m thrilled to have these brave activists on my program.

You can hear their ideas by tuning in at 2 pm. If you’re outside of the New York tri-state, check out our stream on the web. If you miss the live show, dig into our archives for up to 90 days after broadcast.

Eyes Up Here.

Heidi Montag checks her melons

Blessed, or cursed, with a bustline out of proportion to her diminutive frame, author Susan Seligson joined the “Lemons? Make Lemonade!” brigade and wrote a book about America’s fascination with breasts.

Maxi Mounds shows of her breastsStacked: A 32DDD Reports from the Front chronicles the writer’s travels everywhere from the offices of a plastic surgeon specializing in breast enhancement, to New York’s best bra shop, to a Las Vegas convention of exotic dancers. There, Seligson waits to meet the cantilevered Maxi Mounds, right, whose 42M brassiere cups each hold one 20-pound ta-ta stuffed to capacity with polypropylene string.

Susan Seligson is the guest today on a repeat edition of my WBAI-NY / 99.5 FM radio show, NONFICTION, this afternoon, Friday, January 9, at 2 pm ET.

We’re also joined in the conversation by photographer Jordan Matter, whose “Uncovered” project depicts New York City women in public places—at street crossings, on park benches, by bridges—completely topless. He photographed Susan for “Uncovered,” and she documents the experience in Stacked.

You can hear their ideas by tuning in at 2 pm. If you’re outside of the New York tri-state, check out our stream on the web. If you miss the live show, dig into our archives for up to 90 days after broadcast.