Entries from June 2008 ↓

All I Want for Father’s Day is Recreational Blackness, or a Reasonable Facsimile Thereof.

If I leave my fantasy wearing this get-up, I fully expect to be  by law enforcement

With Father’s Day on Sunday, this much-beloved gem-of-an-ad for Hallmark’s “Cards with Sound” line will, no doubt, disappear into the vaults by Monday. Thankfully, on YouTube, these joints live forever.

My favorite part? As with you, every single moment of the dancing, and the actor’s perfect sync of the M.C.’s closing, “Stop! Hammer Time!” line, above.

You rotten bastard…But running a really close second? That glare his wife gives him at the 0:21 mark, right, after their youngest calls him out of reverie.

What’s the problem, Mom? Can’t Dad do a little dancin’ on his Very Special Day?

Translation: Expect Anything, Barack Obama. All Bets Are Completely and Totally Off.

Fair and balanced

In an on-air graphic, above, yesterday, FOX News referred to Barack Obama’s wife, Michelle, as “Obama’s Baby Mama!”

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Obama-Beats-Clinton Beats

Calm down! Chill!
Rebecca Sealfon, 1997 Scripps Spelling Bee champ, casts her vote

I don’t actually share the outrageous ecstasy Barack Obama’s upcoming nomination has unleashed on our land. But when it comes to compressing said elation into a seventy-second video breakbeat, Jay Smooth of illdoctrine.com inspires pure joy. Had Black Eyed Peas front-man Will.I.Am done something as unpretentious and true as this piece, or as Jay’s earlier Pulp Fiction/Clinton superdelegate mashup, I wouldn’t have to keep talking about him, or his blathering, tepid “Yes We Can.” Still yet, a small price to pay in order to see real talent. Rock rock rock on, Jay.

Looks Like Client 9 Didn’t Exactly Land on His Behind.

Happy as a former governor with a rich daddy
Better buy his pops one ginormous Father’s Day gift: Eliot Spitzer

Since his fast-moving disgrace and subsequent resignation on March 17 over a prostitution scandal, former NY State governor and superdelegate Eliot Spitzer has been maintaining an incredibly low profile.

Indeed, many who watched his resignation, live, on television, may remember wondering what this once seemingly unstoppable leader, not yet fifty years old, would do with the rest of his life. Assuming he would refuse Playgirl‘s offer to pose nude—which apparently he, thankfully, did—what would his next act be? How would he make a living, given his pariah status? Where would he go?

Apparently, Spitzer’s gone the same place all kids go when they mess up: Home.

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More Proof That Cloning Is Wrong

Heavy metal
This looks very familiar: C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) in The Clone Wars

Please: I want someone to tell me, and I want you to be honest:

Am I a bad person because, after looking at the trailer for Lucasfilm Animation’s upcoming CGI series, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I feel almost nothing, except, perhaps, the loss of animation director Genndy Tartakovsky?

Tartakovsky (b. 1970) helmed the similarly-titled, Emmy Award-winning Star Wars: Clone Wars. The microseries aired on Cartoon Network from 2003 to 2005, much as the new Star Wars: The Clone Wars will run there this fall. (Tartakovsky first became known for the long-running Samurai Jack and Dexter’s Laboratory on that animation channel.)

I saw Clone Wars when it was released on DVD in 2005.

I’m still reeling from it.

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Daddy’s Home.

Bless the mic…

Aside from the performances themselves, what I love about Kanye West’s 2007 single, “Classic (Better Than I’ve Ever Been),” where he invites Nas, KRS-One, and Rakim to join him in the cipher, is that, though guests, they all spank him, like a child, on his own record.

As it’s been often said, don’t send a boy in to do a man’s job.

Automotive Penis Enlargement Kit


Coming up short, fellas? Well, trust me: Women love nothing more than a man with a hot car, and nothing makes a car hotter than flames. Not painted-on flames, but flames for real, blastin’ out the back.

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Breaking the Light Barrier

Too sleek for words…

I first saw this beyond-sleek sofa, called Acceleration, on Kanye West’s design-aggressive blog, KanyeWestUniversity.

From the front…

At present, it’s only a digital design study, but let’s hope that Philip Grass can get it off the screen, and into appropriately hyperminimalist, off-white homes, rapidly.

White as the Salt Flats: Race in Utah

White as far as you can see…

“This baby is black. It’s a dark, ugly thing.”

Utah State Senator Chris Buttars was talkng about a pending bill when, in February, he uttered those words on the statehouse floor.

In the uproar that followed, he called the NAACP-led protest against his remarks a “hate lynch mob,” adding “How do I know what words I’m supposed to use in front of those people?”

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The Wonder of Warsaw

Rise, Zaha, rise!

I’ve adored the work of Iraqi-born, London-based architect Zaha Hadid for years, and soon 1.7 million Poles will, also. Notes The New York Times, the Pritzker Prize-winning Hadid—the only woman to have been awarded the field’s “Nobel”—is about to construct a residential structure towering 790 feet above Warsaw’s streets.

Called Lilium Tower, the sleek, glass-covered building, with floor space of 1.1 million square feet has a fleur-de-lis motif and is to house apartments, a condominium hotel and commercial and recreational facilities on a site facing the city’s Palace of Culture. Some planning permits are still needed; completion is expected in 2012.

Remember when the extant question about Hadid was, “Yes, but when will she actually build something?” Now it’s “When will she stop?”

Bravo, Zaha. Keep ’em guessing….