Entries from December 2008 ↓

What Happens If a Bunch of Iraqi Journalists Get Their Hands on These Weapons of Mass Destruction?

Vivienne Westwood shoes
Dame Vivienne Westwood’s killer 10-inch, Anglomania heels,
from the collection of the Bata Shoe Museum. Photo by Nicola Betts

Dear readers of MEDIA ASSASSIN:

There is an oversight to which I must own up.

Iraqi journalist Muntader al-ZaidiYesterday, when I put together my prospective rogue’s list of deadly, would-be Presidential shoe-throwers—Wayne Gretzky, Shaq, Pinball Wizard, Bozo the Clown, Frankenstein—in the wake of the controversy around Iraqi newscaster Muntader al-Zaidi, right, who, the day before, threw his shoes at President Bush during a press conference, I tried to be thorough. I wanted to compile a complete roster of people for whom President Bush, in his waning days as our nation’s leader, might keep out an alert eye. To me, it was a matter of national…well, no…clearly, it was a matter of international security.

But I failed.

I forgot to include Vivienne Westwood.

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As Long As We’re All Throwing Shoes, Bush Should Just Be Glad That Shaquille O’Neal, Sir Edmund Hillary, Maxwell Smart, Shaun “The Flying Tomato” White, Frankenstein, Hell’s Angels, Bozo the Clown, the Pinball Wizard, Flyguy the Pimp from I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, UK Proteus Syndrome-Sufferer Mandy Sellars, and Wayne Gretzky Aren’t Humiliated, Pissed-Off Iraqi Journalists.

Iraqi Journalist Throws Shoe At Bush

Also, he should be thankful that Muntader al-Zaidi, 28, the Iraqi journalist who, yesterday, one at a time, threw both of his shoes at President Bush, but missed, above, though fairly accurate, doesn’t exactly have a killer right arm, or pitch for Baghdad’s Salam baseball team.

According to The New York Times, al-Zaidi,

a correspondent for Al Baghdadia, an independent Iraqi television station, stood up about 12 feet from Mr. Bush and shouted in Arabic: “This is a gift from the Iraqis; this is the farewell kiss, you dog!” He then threw a shoe at Mr. Bush, who ducked and narrowly avoided it.

As stunned security agents and guards, officials and journalists watched, Mr. Zaidi then threw his other shoe, shouting in Arabic, “This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq!” That shoe also narrowly missed Mr. Bush as Prime Minister Maliki stuck a hand in front of the president’s face to help shield him.

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Kids Are the Darnedest Things.

Dennis tells a race joke.

Classic 1970 American humor, above, from the late Hank Ketcham, creator of Dennis the Menace.

[via UndercoverBlackMan]

Bettie Page, 1923-2008

Bettie Page will tear you apart

You’d be forgiven for thinking, before yesterday, that Bettie Page, the black-haired, 1950s pinup girl with an unflappable commitment to the camera, above, wasn’t even a real person, but, like Uncle Sam, merely a symbol.

Indeed, her face and figure are so much a part of the last century’s random visual database—like images of the moon landing, the Spirit of St. Louis, or Elvis—you might even conclude that, if she was real, then she had to have been many different women—a composite like that other Betty, Crocker—all playing to a simple fantasy of middle American sexual vitality that has long disappeared under dust, but that got “our boys” through the Second World War, Korea, and the suffocating stuffiness of whitebread life in the mid-20th century.

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Detroit Really Needs Money For Gas.

Fake car ad…or is it real?

Let’s hope, for their sake, it’s coming in January. Because, with the Senate turning down the $14 billion auto bailout, the December one sure didn’t work.

A Fertile Field of Warheads.

NY Times nuclear proliferation graphic

The above graphic accompanies a compelling, recent New York Times piece on the history of nuclear proliferation, as documented in two new books: The Nuclear Express: A Political History of the Bomb and its Proliferation, by Thomas C. Reed and Danny B. Stillman, and The Bomb: A New History, by Stephen M. Younger.

The piece begins by quoting J. Robert Oppenheimer, scientific director of the Manhattan Project, which developed the first working atomic bomb. As the Times reports, Oppenheimer thought the technology would soon be held by every nation.

“They are not too hard to make,” he told his colleagues on the Manhattan Project at Los Alamos, N.M. “They will be universal if people wish to make them universal.”

The piece then, in some detail, looks at the spread of weapons, and the forces that both grew atomic arsenals and forbade them. Certainly, the area of highest concern on the graphic, to proliferation experts, remains the far right section of nuclear aspirants, any and all of them, but particularly those without warm feelings for our country IRAN. Before closing, the piece adds this pointed summary.

The take-home message of both books is quite the reverse of Oppenheimer’s grim forecast. But both caution that the situation has reached a delicate stage — with a second age of nuclear proliferation close at hand — and that missteps now could hurt terribly in the future.

An understatement if ever there was one.

Get Your Drank On a Pedestal.

Etienne Meneau Carafe No. 5

As a person practicing Seventh-day Adventism, I don’t drink alcohol, never have, and would prefer that no one else did either, even recreationally. So, on MEDIA ASSASSIN, you won’t see me recommending fine wines or drinking paraphernalia. It’s a religious, health, and spiritual thing for me.

Carafe No. 5, faceThat said, I’m kind amazed by these “strange carafes,” that French artist Etienne Meneau crafts out of high-grade, shatter-resistant borosilicate glass. The No. 5, above and right, which looks like inverted caribou antlers as drawn by a Cubist, stands 25 1/2 inches high, holds one bottle of wine, and costs $2,800. Meneau’s only made 12—eight signed and four artist proofs.

“Little Heart” carafe by Etienne MeneauOr, maybe your style is something a little less outrageous and angular, like, say, Meneau’s Petit Coeur (“Little Heart”), right, with its musical four-chambered heart, flipped-over valentine form. Just under 8 inches in height, holding 6.7 oz, it’s $1,900 in the same limited quantities.

Rich as they are as sculptural art, the question any sensible person will immediately have, particularly about No. 5, is, “How do you wash this?” Meneau anticipated the query.

Borosilicat glass is a very strong, chemically and thermically, the glass is thick (0.0788 in.) . You can wash the Decanter with very hot water. Rinse thoroughly, last rinsing with demineralized water…Let drain the decanter 2 or 3 hours upside down on a towel folded, propped up well in a corner.

Gorgeous, aren’t they? Bump special occasions: If I could afford one, I’d drink my cranberry juice from it every morning.

What Happens If, When You Close Your Eyes, You Can’t Even Begin to Shake What You’ve Seen?

Chris Redfield’s eye

Capcom is ridiculously turning up heat on what promises to be one of spring’s most devastating videogame releases: Resident Evil 5. The burn comes from the first in their series of viral videos, “Ceremony,” and it’s bananas.

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Dude, Chill.

ShamWow! Guy

What’s the ShamWow! Guy smoking?

Mad Wack Beneath the Blunderdome.

Tina Turner in concert, out of her mind.

Come on, Tina….

[via omg!]