Madamoiselle President?

Ready to serve: Paris Hilton

That loud slap you heard was Paris Hilton’s sabre-sharp response to John McCain, for goofily Photoshopping her pic into a campaign ad. An echo that resounds was expected: This essay on six reasons why she’d make a better president than a man who graduated 894th in his class of 899 at Annapolis.

The first three arguments, below:

1- I like a transparent president and damn, Paris sure is. She is eager to share information about anything that happens to her and has almost nothing to hide, as proven by her [in]famous videotape. She is accountable and accepts the consequences of her actions, as shown by her stint in jail a few months ago. McCain, on the other hand, has never admitted that his support of the war has been harmful for millions of people and disastrous for the US economy.

2- Paris is very cool with her fans; she doesn’t piss them off. She is a paparazzo’s sweetheart. What kind of President can McCain be if he angers a family who is among his hardcore supporters? How can somebody contribute to a campaign that wastes donated money and publicly embarrasses the donors’ children?

3- When it comes to foreign policy, I imagine Paris sitting down with world leaders. She definitely won’t bore them to death, and they will fully listen to every single word she says. I imagine that for many of them it will be hard to say “NO” to Paris Hilton.

She’s got my vote. I can see her right now, shopping at Hermès and trading risqué nude photographs with Carla Bruni, first lady of France.

Crazy, but the weird thing is I believe in a Hilton presidency about as much as I believe in a McCain one.