Entries Tagged 'Sex' ↓

Sex: The Olympic-Sized Subtext

A champion in her own right….
Go, Paraguay: Javelinist Leryn Franco shows her winning form

Sex for the sport / The metaphor I kick is rhythmic
So listen / No competition / My love’s Olympic
The pace that I set heats the mind until it’s scorched
Waiting for the games to begin with my torch comes the javelin
The distance, it can’t be measured
The pleasure, too deep / Infinity marks the record…

“Sex for the Sport,” Channel Live,
Station Identification (Capitol, 1995)

Surrounded by fellow countrymen, she stepped into the Beijing National Stadium, or “Bird’s Nest,” during the 2008 Olympics’ opening ceremonies. When the camera pulled in for a close-up, all a planetful of horny guys wanted to know is, Who is that? What is her sport? and Does it show a lot of skin?

“Well, at least I’m not in 52nd place.”As it turns out, her name is Leryn Franco, she’s 26, from Paraguay, and throwing the javelin shows more skin than gymnastics, though less than beach volleyball.

As it also turns out, she wasn’t really all that good at what she did, placing 51st in her field. (Czech athlete Barbora Špotáková got the gold. “Leryn Franco is Hot; Sucks at Javelin” read one blog post.)

So, what? Throwing a 600g spear isn’t how Franco makes her money.

This is:

Continue reading →

The Other Side of Riverdale

Va-va-va-voom…

Artist Dan S. DeCarlo (1919-2001), below, is widely recognized as the creator of both the Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Josie and the Pussycats strips. But he is best known as the illustrator who gave Archie—the comic featuring the eponymous redheaded Hi. I’m Dan DeCarlo.teenager, plus his friends Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Reggie, and the rest—their definitive form and line, the look by which they’re most known, and that modern artists must emulate when drawing the characters.

I think it’s for this reason that I love the two recently released Fantagraphics texts The Pin-Up Art of Dan DeCarlo, and The Pin-Up Art of Dan DeCarlo Vol. 2, edited by Alex Chun and Jacob Covey.

Continue reading →

Uh, You’re Probably Gonna Want To Re-Think That Job Offer in Moscow. No, Seriously. I Mean It. Don’t Go. Run.

“I think I found the folder I asked you to get.”
A post-Soviet “survival” technique, according to the courts

As many know from the viral video of a Russian newspaper office worker gone bonkers and attacking co-workers and cubicles, doing the daily grind in one of that country’s corporations seems pretty doggone rough. But just how terrible it can be for women is something we’re only now finding out: According to the Huffington Post,

A woman seeking to become only the third woman ever to successfully bring a sexual harassment case in Russia was dealt a shocking rebuke when the judge threw out her case, ruling that sexual harassment is actually necessary for the survival of the human race:

Continue reading →

Is Incest the New Black?

Like father, like daughter, like granddaughter…
All in the family: The Deaves and their offspring, Celeste

I was prepared to walk away from posting about this London Times piece, “I had sex with my brother but I don’t feel guilty,” on mere ick factor alone:

On New Year’s Eve Daniel went to a party and by the time he got home I was already asleep. I was extremely sleepy when he crept into my room and curled up on my bed, which was something we’d both done for years, especially if we wanted to share some snippet of gossip. When he started stroking my hair and face it was a surprise, but I could feel myself drifting pleasurably back to sleep as he caressed me gently. Then I became aware of his hand drifting lower and suddenly I was wide awake as he stroked my neck and started sliding his hand down my vest top. I wasn’t scared but I was surprised as he started stroking me, though my overriding sensation was one of sheer pleasure. I instinctively lifted my mouth to his as he kissed me and then he hugged me very tightly and left.

Then I saw the article had generated 347 comments, but, even more, many actually approved of the arrangement, or at least were tolerant of it.

But even that was before I watched an Australian 60 Minutes video (via Jezebel) of John, 61, and Jenny, 39, Deaves, a father-daughter / common-law husband-wife couple from that country, and their granddaughter / daughter / half-sister, Celeste, 8 months of age, above.

“Mom!….MOM!!!”The piece also profiled a Scottish couple of half-siblings, though it doesn’t mention the Germans ones of which I’d heard first. Thinking about the Deaves, of course, reminded me of Kathryn Harrison’s controversial 1997 memoir, The Kiss, which details an adult sexual relationship with the author’s father. The title of that 1994 movie I’ve never seen, Spanking the Monkey, was still floating around in my head, too.

I was starting to drown. Is incest, somehow, becoming hip? How did so many otherwise sane, normal, adults come to agree that the hottest sex is with one’s next-of-kin?

Continue reading →

Weirdest Commercial Ever?

If They Mated.

While I’m glad that BestWeekEver.tv hipped me to this French Orangina television ad, above in English, I want to wash all of it—including the sight of a bear, above, grinding a busty deer on a swing—out of my eyeballs. Now. Please.

Art Censorship Art.

“Come and get it!!”

Take a bunch of sexy twentysomethings, have them remove their clothes, get ’em dancing, and, in no time, you’ll be watchin’ ’em get it on, right?

Right, but only if “get it on” means “make funny signs and symbols out of the censorship bars that inevitably accompany televised U.S. nudity.”

At least, that’s the way it works in the brilliant video for “Toe Jam,” above, by the BPA (Brighton Port Authority), a collaboration between Fatboy Slim and David Byrne, here featuring Byrne and Dizzee Rascal on vocals. Scandalous!

Only the Sexually Myopic Need Apply

“Honey…I think I dropped my flashlight!”

Hopefully, you saw it here first: An ear-mountable “oral sex light,” so that, when engaged in said delicate act, you can do so with utter clarity and attention to detail.

Look at the happy people on the package. Check out the tag line: “Don’t Go Down Without It!”

Available for $7.05 from sextoy.com and other e-tailers.

There: I think I just solved all of our problems.

Coming Next in the Series: Harry Potter & the Order for a Bigger Rack

“Look what my wand did!”
Now you don’t, now you see ’em: The Potter posters

Marketing is an immensely subtle practice today, exerting its influence over narrower and narrower realms of sensory focus, but this is absurd: Apparently, Warner Bros. marketing execs for 2007’s Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix decided that, for the movie’s IMAX version poster, Emma Watson needed something witchcraft couldn’t give her 14-year-old character, Hermione Granger: Bigger boobs. Continue reading →

Looks Like Client 9 Didn’t Exactly Land on His Behind.

Happy as a former governor with a rich daddy
Better buy his pops one ginormous Father’s Day gift: Eliot Spitzer

Since his fast-moving disgrace and subsequent resignation on March 17 over a prostitution scandal, former NY State governor and superdelegate Eliot Spitzer has been maintaining an incredibly low profile.

Indeed, many who watched his resignation, live, on television, may remember wondering what this once seemingly unstoppable leader, not yet fifty years old, would do with the rest of his life. Assuming he would refuse Playgirl‘s offer to pose nude—which apparently he, thankfully, did—what would his next act be? How would he make a living, given his pariah status? Where would he go?

Apparently, Spitzer’s gone the same place all kids go when they mess up: Home.

Continue reading →

Caterpillar Pimpin’

“Be gentle…”

A lot o’ you brothers out there don’t know how to treat a beautiful lady, like this one, above. Your game is way off. Y’all need to learn from a professional.

See, when I get a woman back to my place, I like to take it real slow.

Continue reading →