Entries Tagged 'Humor' ↓

Wow: I Guess I Was Completely Wrong About Tiger’s Apology.

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Last week on MEDIA ASSASSIN, I did a brief analysis of Tiger Woods’ press conference apology. Though, admittedly, Woods’ recitation of his written statement was wooden and lacked warmth, I judged that, in his words, he took appropriate responsibility for what he’d done, and spoke to the need for personal change.

Well, boy was I wrong! As this piece of video from the event reveals, above, there was more to Tiger’s talk than meets the eye or ear. Wow. How did he fool us all again?

[via brokencool.com]

Don’t You Wish Your Boyfriend Was Hot Like Me?

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Old Spice, the legendary men’s grooming products company, should give Wieden + Kennedy, their current ad agency, a massive raise.

You may know W+K as the immaculately creative shop that, for all intent and purposes, invented Nike as a brand. Now, they’ve delivered a series of commercials which make the decrepit, aforementioned manufacturer of shaving powder actually seem hip again.

Here, on MEDIA ASSASSIN, we’ve already covered one of the spots from their blazingly satirical “Different Scents” campaign. Now, check out this, above, “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like,” their latest pitch for O.S. body wash, and take in all the eyefuls of luscious man meat you can.

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Congratulations, Sears, on Winning the “All-Time Most Completely Unnecessary Use of Breakdancing in a Television Commercial” Award.

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Foul-Mouthed Amazing Little Brat.

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Mere seconds into this excerpt from the “red band” trailer—one containing harder, R-rated content—for the upcoming, vigilante superhero fight-fest Kick-Ass, you become painfully aware that darling little Mindy Macready, above (played by Chloe Moretz), is not your ordinary, little, enjoying-some-ice-cream-with-her-dad (Nicholas Cage) type.

Then it gets worse.

Then it gets really better.

I won’t spoil it except to say, 1) the language is NSFW, and 2) if they can legally do this with pubescents, then I’m gettin’ my doggone Gunslinger Girl live-action adaptation. No bet.

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Eat Cheese…And You “Don’t Stop.”

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laughing_cowWhen The Laughing Cow, right, France’s Jura-based makers of spreadable cheese wedges, above, recently started airing their latest commercial, something about the cloppy, jug-band, oddly sexy beats underneath sounded familiar. But I couldn’t place ‘em.

So I racked up a little internet research, and, voilá: The track—called “Don’t Stop”—is by the UK’s Patrick & Eugene. It’s from their 2008 import, Everything & Everyone.

51paurvjxwl_ss500_Patrick & Eugene? Yes, Patrick Dawes and Eugene Bezodis, whose debut domestic release, Altogether Now (Birds Bees Flowers Trees), right, is out today, featuring new tracks next to their best-loved songs.

On the P&E web site, the bushy duo describes their sound as

whistles, bells and bongos combined with banjos, ukuleles and sunshine pop vocals to produce a unique but accessible music for post modern vaudeville, with a nod to Monty Python, Derek & Clive and even Woody Allen.

screen3If you can rememeber back to 2006, their ditty, “The Birds and the Bees,” was compellingly clamped to Volkswagen’s reintroduction of their classic Rabbit. The ad featured of black and white subcompacts dipping into dark tunnels and alleyways, right, only to re-emerge, followed by gray, black, white, and multi-hued lil’ uns. (Multiplying like…rabbits, get it?)

If you can’t remember that, though, ne’er worry: “The Birds and the Bees,” “Don’t Stop,” the slinky, captivating “Llama” (hear it on their MySpace page) and eleven other compositions fill out the new CD. Plus, I’ve packed this post with YouTubes, below, for your listening and viewing pleasure. Dance, kiddies, dance.

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Pleasant Dreams.

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The Body Double English Rose Duvet Cover Bedding Set, above, will make people who stumble into your lair think that you’re stretched out there, buck naked, and covered in ruby-red roses. That is, unless, like most of Earth’s women, you’re brown. Or you’re a guy. Double-sized w/ two pillowcases. Machine-washable, 50/50 cotton-poly. $40.

[via 1designperday.com]

Computerized Racist Cold Shoulder.

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In this great clip, above, now cresting the web, two store employees join across “racial lines” to show that Hewlett-Packard needs to go back to the drawing board. That is, they better if they want their machines to work on a predominantly Black planet.

C’Mon, People: Who Said the Left Doesn’t Know How To Par-Tay?

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Grab a red cup and join, l-r, above, Josef Stalin, Fidel Castro, Vladimir Lenin, Mao Zedong, and Karl Marx in The Communist Party t-shirt by designer Tom Burns…’cause a proletariat party don’t…stop! Only $10 in various sizes. By Threadless.

To Boldly Go Where No Soft, Corinthian Leather Has Gone Before.

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800_1976chryslercordobasportcoupe-thumb-800x464Do you have to be old enough to remember Ricardo Montablan’s faux couture, 1976 Cordoba car commercial, right, to find this Chrysler/Star Trek: Wrath of Khan mashup, above, hilarious?

I’m guessing pretentiousness has no expiration date, and the answer is “No.”

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Awwww, Yeah, Ladies: This Is Gonna Be Our Little Secret. You See, THE MEDIA ASSASSIN Is ‘Bout To WEAR YOU OUT. Tonight, It’s the Weekend, And You Don’t Stand A Chance…

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…against this sexy little slow jam, featuring my main man, Mr. Hole-In-One, Tiger Woods.

It’s called the “Tiger Woods Voicemail Slow Jam Remix,” and gurrrrl, I hope you Vaselined your legs today, so yo’ panties can have a smooooth ride down.

Awwww, yeah, girl: You better believe you’re gonna break out the rear window of my 2009 Cadillac Escalade.

Only this time…..it’s gonna be from the inside….

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