Entries Tagged 'Satire' ↓

Bitch Better Have My Triethylene Tetramine Dihydrochloride.

Periodic Table Ring in gold (Au)

Grad school can be tough enough without you having to pull rank. But when you absolutely have to do so—like, say your semester’s final joint term paper is due, and you need to let your chemistry lab partner know whose really running thangs—pimp slap them while wearing one of these Periodic Rings from It’s No Name.

Done up with each ring’s metal’s corresponding insignia from the famed table of elements, they’re available in silver ($280), gold, above ($2,350), and, for future Nobel prize winners only, platinum ($6,600). Aaahhhh, yeah: Sumn’s ’bout to go down, and it’s exothermic.

First You Kill Your Elders.

“We’re both mavericks!”

With all the talk about Sarah Palin possibly running for president in 2012, could it come to this: A showdown with her former, now 77-years-old-but-still-fit mentor, John McCain?

Kind of reminds me of something Darth Vader once said: “I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the Master.” Word is, Vader looked awesome in a burgundy, crocodile-print stiletto, too.

[via Panopticist]

Tuesday Night Nightmare.


People jumping off of bridges, running for their lives, standing in front of moving vehicles…let’s hope that it’s only a dream.

[via The WOW Report]

Loving Those Meeses to Pieces.

Jerry Fricassee.

James Cauty was half of The KLF, the 1990s duo who, backed by a collective of dancers, vocalists, and other artists, lit up dance floors with “3 a.m. Eternal” and “Justified & Ancient,” featuring country great Tammy Wynette.

Now, he and his 15-year-old offspring, Harry, under the name J. Cauty & Son, are making a new kind of art: Sculptures, limited-edition prints, and a film short, “Splatter,” pushing popular cartoon violence to its blood-soaked maximum. The five-foot resin Aim Point, above, for example, shows Tom, of Tom & Jerry fame, finally bringing their popular cat-and-mouse act to a brutal end.

U.K. anti-crime nonprofit Mothers Against Violence called Cauty & Son’s exhibition at London art gallery Aquarium L-13 “sick.” To my ears, that’s a rave review.

[via BoingBoing]

Stating What’s Obvious to All.

“You’ll be hypnotized in a minute.”

One of the reasons my wife, Zakiya, and I can’t watch television together has to do with my refusal to stop talking to the TV. I’m always critiquing inconsistencies in the storyline, yakking about subtext, or adding stupid voices.

Z usually yells at me or leaves the room, but, in fact, I love trying to crash the fourth wall, and adore media that’s self-referential in that way, whether it’s Mystery Science Theater 3000, or rudely scribbled penises and word balloons on subway ads.

So, you knew I was gonna dig this: DustoMcNeato’s “Take On Me: Literal Video Version.” Here, the original lyrics, vocals, and even the tracks on Norwegian power trio a-ha’s 1985 hit have been scrapped for a hilarious, subtitled imitation that blasts the once vanguard video’s now cheesy “plot.” Oh, it’s funnier than that sounds.

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Let That Be Your Last Mouthful of Crumbs That Don’t Really Go Down Your Throat But, Instead, Actually End Up All Over the Floor.

All that cookie crap is out!

At the recent DragonCon ’08, a rare photo of an authentic Cookie Monster-slaying warrior with the remains of her prey.

Note the distinguishing touches: Her blue, Cookie fur boots, providing necessary stealth and warmth, and her matching lipstick, providing additional camouflage.

[via Boing Boing]

Shut Your Mouth.

This guy is a bad mutha…

To me, Isaac Hayes’ “Theme from Shaft” may be the most transcendent piece of film music ever made. So, this guy, above, is either leading the greatest travesty of all time, or the second coolest thing ever: The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain’s rendition of the famed work. Don’t tell me I never gave you anything.

[via Current Virals]

In the Wake of 777-Point Wall St. Drop, McCain Proposes Brand New Plan for Economic Revival: “Everyone Marry a Beer Heiress.”

“I did it. So can you!”

As reported by The Onion, John McCain proposed his Marry A Beer Heiress for America Plan yesterday to a group of Detroit business leaders, as part of an economic package designed to stimulate the stagnant American economy.

“We can do it,” urged McCain in the speech. “Americans, together, we can do it.”

“This isn’t a government handout,” said McCain spokesman, Dan Beckner, as members of the House objected, saying that the GOP nominee’s plan was merely a bailout in another form. “No one is going to be given a beer heiress. You’ll have to woo one on your own.”

Barack Obama’s camp “slammed” McCain’s plan, saying that it discriminated against Americans who, instead, sought to get out of the recession by writing two best-selling books and making a speech at the Democratic National Convention.

It’s a Story the Whole Family
Won’t Enjoy.

“Mmmm…smells like moose!”

When, two weeks ago, actor Matt Damon called the possibility of Sarah Palin ending up president “a really bad Disney movie,” not only did he mention a prospective employer in an untoward way, but he gave the good people at CollegeHumor.com a hilarious idea.

[via BoingBoing]

Illin’ for a Drillin’.

Can you feel me?

Hey, kids: Don’t forget to get your entries in to the WIRED Science blog “Drill, Baby, Drill: The Remix” contest.

Participants are asked to cut up the clarion call from lonely Black G.O.P. guy Michael Steele, above, to the Republican National Convention for the decimation of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. The competition’s been going on about ten days now, so hurry and send your mp3s to Brandon Keim at brandon@earthlab.net, and post your video on YouTube.