Entries from August 2009 ↓

The Alien Within.


James Cameron has not directed a feature film in a dozen years. However, his last was 1997’s Titanic, still the all-time box-office champ, at $1.8 billlion grossed worldwide. That means there are enormous hopes riding on his upcoming December release, Avatar. That, a quarter-billion-dollar budget, and one swivvy advance poster, above. And this teaser trailer.

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Sex & Megaviolence.


I’m about in the middle of Cormac McCarthy’s utterly blighted, comfortless novel, The Road. Perhaps that’s why the trailer, above top, for Denzel Washington’s post-apocalyptic, January 2010 The Book of Eli, directed by the Hughes Brothers, comes off to me as stagey; pure movie, in whole. (To be fair, however, I might have the same response to The Road‘s trailer, at which I’ve refused to look until I finish the book.)

Meanwhile, I’m completely taken with the breathy declarations and lush sartorial chroma of Jane Campion’s bodice-ripper, Bright Star, below top; out September 18. It’s the story of poet John Keats, who died at 25 from tubercolosis, but not before both rewriting the DNA of English verse, and hardily bedding his next-door neighbor, the aptly-named Fanny Brawne.

So, what gives? I mean, I’m a sucker for the apocalypse. Have I gone soft in my middle age? You tell me.

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That’s a Huge Sandwich Yer Holdin’.


Am I the only person who thinks there might be something phallic going on in Yankee CC Sabathia’s and Met Johan Santana’s Big Chipotle Cheesesteak commercial for Subway?

screen2That is, the fast food chain would have us believe, with the ad, they’re only marketing “a toasted tower of juicy steak and melted cheese, topped with peppers, onions, and spicy chipotle southwest sauce,” right.

But check out the positioning and angle of the sandwiches between their open legs—which never changes—the lighting, and even the “circumcised cut” at the exposed end of the bread.

Plus, follow the dialogue, as two pinnacles of Black masculine physicality trade locker room talk about how “big” the meaty cylinder between their legs is. One almost gets the indelicate impression that Doctor’s Associates, Subway’s parent company, is selling more than sustenance. Hey: It wouldn’t be the first time.

How big is it?, asks Subway. You decide. Watch the ad, below.

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So You Think You Can Dance?

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I’m so tired of TV commercials with dancing by wack b-boys. But in this spot for T-Mobile’s Sidekick LX, music, editing, and, especially, performances work together to create something truly outrageous. You may have seen the 30-second version of this ad on TV. That’s the 1-minute take, above. Get down.

Love Your Uterus.


In high school, Etsy craftsmaker VulvaLoveLovely says she “was more than an outcast, I was an untouchable.” Hurting desperately to connect with someone, she tried to drown her pain in meaningless sex, but only ended up getting abused, assaulted, and despising herself more.

It wasn’t until she saw a performance of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues that she began to peel away the layers of self-denigration that she’d built up.

vaginalipsAnd how. Today, the artist not only fashions pieces like this 2-inch pudenda-positive polymer clay pendant, right, but also creates massively hysterical works like the huggable “Utera Maxima,” above.

“Utera” is 20 inches tall, 29 inches wide, with a fallopial tube “wing span” of 69 inches. The piece is

crafted out of fuchsia fleece. The detailing is done in dark pink, light pink, and white candy striped detailing.

“Utera Maxima” should look great in your car, riding shotgun, flickin’ the finger to drivers who get too close; draped across your bed, where fortunate boudoir visitors can pay due homage; or seated in a place of esteem on your living room couch when you serve tea. Plus, the next time some nosey kid asks you where babies come from, you can just point. Vagina Pendant Necklace, $17 + $1.99 s/h. Utera Maxima, $45 + $12-$25 s/h, depending on country of destination.

[via thingamababy.com]

Blame It On Jamie Foxx.


law_abiding_citizenWhoa: Check out this dramatic, new teaser poster, above, from Jamie Foxx’s upcoming thriller with 300‘s Gerard Butler, right, Law-Abiding Citizen.

In the story, notes IMDB.com,

An everyday guy [Butler] decides to take justice into his own hands after a plea bargain sets his family’s killers free. His target: The district attorney [Foxx] who orchestrated the deal.

Directed by F. Gary Gray (Set It Off; The Negotiator; The Italian Job), Law-Abiding Citizen breaks the rules on October 16th.

[via impawards.com]

Jive Talkin’.


I get invited to a number of movie press screenings, mostly for medium-budget, high-quality, serious “art” films. When I received the notice for political satire In the Loop, right, I looked at the image embedded _12402676236557in the press release, said, “James Gandolfini as a general? Feh!” Ignored it. (That’s not him, above, but actor Peter Capaldi, who, in this transatlantic piece, plays Malcolm Tucker, the British prime minister’s director of communications.)

What a mistake. I still haven’t seen the movie, but I wish the publicist had sent me the trailer, cause I’d have been there in a minute. In the Loop‘s promo is one of the best, funniest, and most expertly edited I’ve ever seen. It perfectly conveys the film’s Wag the Dog, geopolitical-comedy-of errors, Babel-speak theme with deftness and hilarity that makes the short a must-watch-again. Check it out below, or, as I always prefer, in Apple Quicktime.

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Babies Breastfeeding Babies.

screen3Suck on this: A little girl demos Bebé Glotón’s remarkable talent

Does Bebé Glotón, Spanish manufacturer Berjuan‘s “breastfeeding” toy, above, mark the end of the world? Does it simply represent that less delicate, more raw & direct quality Spain seems to possess as a cultural birthright? Or is it an innovative and educational device, fitting for today’s more introspective age?

I haven’t figured it out. What I know, however, is that the chance you’ll see it on U.S. shelves any time soon is exactly zero. No, make that -8.

Continue reading →

I’m a New (Mad) Man.


When I noticed a lot of my fellow Twitterers sporting stylish, 1960s-style customized avatars, I asked how they were doing this.

I was quickly turned on to MadMen Yourself. It’s a promotional site for MadMen, AMC’s hit series about randy ad execs in JFK’s America. (Season 3 of the award-winning drama starts August 16.)

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Ascending Mt. Nipple.


Vincent Bousserez’s Plastic Life series of photos puts tiny figurines against normal-sized human implements—ashtrays, door pulls, etc.—and, as above, body parts. As the micros apparently contemplate their environments, and the impossibilities of the obstacles they face, they render wry, albeit silent, commentaries on the futility of the human condition. I dunno, but there’s something about the sight of three men, determinedly working to reach the pinnacle of a female breast, that seems sum up everything.

[via ffffound.com]