Strong Enough for a Man, But Made for a Woman.

Introducing the Shenis

Biomimicry, according to an institute which bears the name, “is the practice of developing sustainable technologies inspired by ideas from nature,” like, for example, studying the seemingly frictionless quality of shark skin, in order to design better boat hulls.

Yet, somehow, I don’t think the aureate schlong pictured above was what scientists had in mind. Dubbed The Shenis by its creator, Kiki Curry, it’s 12 inches of hard plastic she calls “the female answer to standing to pee for ladies.”

Shenis in actionAs a woman who travels non stop, (and am always on the road), it’s impossible to find a toilet when I need it, let alone a clean one. Worse, I’m from Texas, where you can go for miles without seeing a tree, let alone a bush. Guys, (God bless ‘em), don’t have this problem. They can stop anywhere, (and I do mean anywhere,) and go. So, partly out of need, partly out of envy, I invented The Shenis – the female answer to the penis. It’s not a sex toy, by the way, and isn’t intended to be one. It just lets us girls “go” with the home boys. As a result, (with due credit to Freud), men will finally be envious of what we girls have.

If you’re still mouth-open-dumbfounded by that explanation and photo, above, there’s plenty of video on the Shenis web site that should clear up at least some of your remaining questions. Ones I still have about the Shenis include:

1. How do you clean it? Baby bottle washer and soap? Where do you clean it?

2. Say all you’re carrying is this cute little bag. Where do you stash it? Disgusting as most bathrooms are, in both public and semi-public places, I just don’t see a troop of girls on their night out walking into Hannigan’s brandishing these things.

3. You say it’s great for traveling, right? How visible is it on airport X-ray machines?

Shenis in black4. Why are so many fake penises gold-colored? Thankfully, as you can see, the Shenis is also available in muted but dignified ebony, right, as well.

5. What’s the appropriate age to use this? Put another way, if its benefits are so high—privacy, cleanliness—what’s going to be mommy’s excuse for not letting 14-year-old Jennifer try it? I’m guessing she’ll just equip her with the more “age-appropriate” Feminal, SheWee, IPEE, P-Mate, or other FUDs (female urinal devices). Even so, when out in that bushless Texas prairie, and the kids see you rockin’ it, Mom—your gold phallus flashing in the Southwestern noonday sun like the mighty staff of Zeus—how are you gonna explain it to them?

The Shenis is $21, plus $7.50 shipping and handling. Makes a great Christmas gift.

[via pretty dumb things]

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3 comments ↓

#1 Sam Cook on 03.06.09 at 2:00 am

…eerrrmmm….a 6 pack of Charmin and one Shenis puurrlleeaasseee….

For real…the gift for women folks who have everything…OR…men folks who want some telescopic potty action in their lives.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#2 Ray Winbush on 03.06.09 at 5:11 pm

I am absolutely speechless…

#3 TRu Ink on 03.29.09 at 7:33 pm

Wow! That’s crazy….

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