Entries Tagged 'Sex' ↓

Bettie Page, 1923-2008

Bettie Page will tear you apart

You’d be forgiven for thinking, before yesterday, that Bettie Page, the black-haired, 1950s pinup girl with an unflappable commitment to the camera, above, wasn’t even a real person, but, like Uncle Sam, merely a symbol.

Indeed, her face and figure are so much a part of the last century’s random visual database—like images of the moon landing, the Spirit of St. Louis, or Elvis—you might even conclude that, if she was real, then she had to have been many different women—a composite like that other Betty, Crocker—all playing to a simple fantasy of middle American sexual vitality that has long disappeared under dust, but that got “our boys” through the Second World War, Korea, and the suffocating stuffiness of whitebread life in the mid-20th century.

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“Like the Answer to My Prayers.”


That’s how Jackie, a guest on The Tyra Banks Show last week, described discovering the Ashley Madison Agency, a dating site uniquely designed for married people who want to discretely step out of their relationships and into sexual ones with over 2 million other, similarly motivated people. (The company’s motto: “Life is Short. Have an Affair.”)

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Ass Not What Your Country Can Do For You.

M. Obama: Baby’s back got back.

Notes one Black female writer in Salon.com, on January 20th, Michelle Obama will not only become America’s premiere Black First Lady, but she’ll also be the first to shake what our Mama (Africa) gave her: An authentic, 3-dimensional, fully-realized butt.

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Where No Man Has Gone Before.

Kirk and Spock “fanfic”

Fan fiction, or fanfic, is a literary subgenre where super-obsessed viewers of a given TV show or film write their own stories, based on the characters and conventions of that film or show, exploring new or different narrative directions that don’t appear in the original. (For example, in Lord of the Rings, having Frodo and Sam trying to kill, and take the throne from the king, Aragorn.)

Slash is a subunit of fanfic, typically written by women, that enages the otherwise straight male characters of a narrative in homosexual sex with each other. For example, at each rest stop, having Frodo toss Sam’s salad.

Without question, one of the longest ongoing and most voluminous bodies of slash belongs to the original Star Trek universe, which, for some reason, compels fans to create bodice-rippers based on the misadventures of Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock.

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Erection Results Are In.

Head O’ State Barack Obama dildo

GRACE: Ooh! Speakin’ of butts, had another sex dream last night. This time I was in the shower with Barack Obama. Oh-bama, he was ba-rocking my world.

—Will & Grace, “Queens For A Day,” 11/25/2004

I think it speaks to the general quality of Racialicious that what, for them, is a mere side illustration is, for me, my whole act: The Head O State Sex Toy.

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Dig Somewhere Else.

Get lost.
Thanks for the warning: Gold digger in “I’m Keepin’ It
Real” mode

Given the leanness of the times, one could say that wikiHow: The How-To Manual That You Can Edit is performing a public service by releasing this among their latest sets of instructions: A nine-point list detailing “How to Spot a Gold Digger.” Sound like anybody you know?

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Mamma Mia.

Ain’t none badder….

What you see, above—an Italian 4-fogli, or four-sheet, for the 1973 film, Coffy—is, for its subject, size, and graphical power, to me, the single most desirable ephemeral object in all of Black film, and possibly connected to any movie.


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Baring All.

Alanis Morissette Gives Thanks

Seeing the video for Alanis Morrissette’s “Thank U,” above, released ten years ago today, is probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to a religious experience while considering a piece of popular art.

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A Parting Glance.

“My boyfriend embezzled millions and is in jail! Guess I’ve made the transition from teen roles, fer sure!”

A joint submission from the “I Learn Something New Every Day” and “That’s Why Women Can’t Stand Men” Depts. of MEDIA ASSASSIN, above: Photo of actress Anne Hathaway, found during an unrelated search, linked to the web site of—get this—Sideboob.org.

Motto: “A whole new view on breasts!”

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Athletes Ready and Eager for 2012

[insert Olympic theme music here]

When The London Times Matthew Syed—a 1992 Barcelonan and 2008 Beijing commentator—was asked how true it is that for athletes, behind the scenes, the Olympics is rampaging humpfest, he gave the answer Bob Costas never could to the question Costas would never address:

You had better believe it.

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