Entries Tagged 'Sex' ↓

Keith Sweat: Ready when you are…for the next 13 minutes, max

R&B singers are gonna need new choruses: Adding scientific imprimatur to what sane women have long known, a recent Penn State survey of North American sex therapists concluded that, on average, good couple’s sex lasts 3 to 13 minutes.

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When asked about marriage, or even when not, I typically say that it’s a hard thing to do well; that probably, apart from raising children, it’s the hardest thing anyone will ever attempt. And that, in marriage, communication is not only important, but that it is the blood plasma of your relationship, though, again, it is always a difficult thing to do correctly. And that you need to have an unbreakable agreement that your marriage is for life for it to even have a chance at working. And that, particularly as a person who aspires to Christianity, you need God in your relationship to make it work. And that…well, you get the idea.

These are hard-earned truths from over 15 years of betrothal to Zakiya, and, believe me, I’m learning more all the time, every day, or at least trying to do so.

But this guy says forget all that: Just don’t get married and, if you do, do not, under any circumstances, marry an American woman.

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Not so cute, funny, and sexy now, is it?: Detroit Mayor Kwame M. Kilpatrick and his former chief of staff/alleged mistress Christine Beatty, above, after turning themselves in to the Wayne County Sherriff’s office for mug shots and fingerprinting on perjury, obstruction of justice, misconduct in office, and other charges, Monday. Both are scheduled to be arraigned today at 1 pm CT.

One very happy smiley face: del Rio shows her considerable talents

Count on the impossibly design-consistent Taschen to come up with something like this: Not only does their foot-square, 396-page, 1,500 numbered copies, $700 Vanessa del Rio—a retrospective book on the life and career of the ’70s porn star—arrive signed by her, in a slipcase, with an original 140-minute DVD documentary. As well, one buyer, and only one, is going to find something even more amazing, below: A Willy Wonka-like “Golden Ticket good for an all-expenses paid evening with Vanessa, to be documented by a world famous-photographer”:

I’m presuming “an all-expenses paid evening with Vanessa” merely means dinner. However, clicking on her ticket here will get you the next best thing to that meal: a short, but aurally NSFW Taschen video clip of del Rio riffing on her life and history as, not only the first Latina porn star but, “the first woman to do a DP.” Don’t ask. My favorite part: Toward the end, del Rio displaying two fellatic black & white 8x10s…after having put on her granny glasses.

The Alfa Romeo Brera: Sex on wheels, not for real

The old cliché says that middle-aged men buy expensive sports cars in order to get sex. So, in a way, perhaps Spitzer was just cutting out the middleman.

Of course, everything about the Spitzer sex scandal boggles the mind: The original chastity of his reputation; the salaciousness of the details connected to his disgrace; the height of his fall; the magnitude of the humiliation and embarrassment invoked when being the highest elected official in one’s state means having to tell your wife of twenty years—the mother of your three teenage daughters—that you’ve cheated on her with prostitutes—most recently the day before Valentine’s Day—and that, in mere hours, this fact is going to be on every newspaper cover and TV news program she’s ever seen and known by every living person she’s ever met.

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Stand by your man: Silda Wall Spitzer and the cheating governor

When politicians cheat on their wives, why, as they give their public confessions, do their wives stand next to them at the podium?

Joe Garofoli’s San Francisco Chronicle piece, “Why do political wives stand by their men?”, asks this great, little-asked question:

Part political theater, part open-air therapy, these excruciating public confessionals demand three things of the spouse: to hold her family together at a moment of crisis; to support the person she supposedly loves; and to provide a least a shred of future political viability for her man.

But some analysts wonder if these humiliating productions have outlived their political usefulness.

“They have put these women through so much already – it just seems to be a second level of humiliation,” said Debbie Walsh, director of the Center for American Women and Politics at Rutgers University. “It is supposed to make him look like not such a bad guy. Like, ‘Geez, look, his wife was standing next to him.’ But in this case, she looked so pained that, to me, he looked less sympathetic.”

Also in the SF Chronicle, Debra J. Saunders (“The emperor’s wife”) reasonably asks

If we have to see the wife, couldn’t it be as she is throwing his suits, socks and golf clubs on the sidewalk while invoking the name of a ruthless divorce attorney?

It would certianly make better television. Watching Silda Wall Spitzer, all I could think was that she looked like she probably felt: That she’d been socked in the gut. (Reportedly, she’d learned of the scandal the day before.) She didn’t even have Dina McGreevey’s odd little frozen smile.

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Check out the Huffington Post‘s article, Emperors Club: All About Eliot Spitzer’s Alleged Prostitution Ring. (You can click on the pic, also.)

Is it just me, or are these pictures, like the one at right, kinda creepy?

Is there an odd kind of deathliness to this whole thing: To ordering women with no heads, seated in kind of fake-artsy poses, so that you can have sex with them?

I’m almost religiously unmoved by political advertising, which, I’m sure like, many, I usually find boring beyond rote; usually no more than talking points with pictures.

However, when I saw this 2006 campaign ad during Eliot Spitzer’s run for governor of New York State, it almost took my breath away.

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I’d never heard of Canadian-Chinese pop singer Edison Chen, 27, until a link on racialicious.com told me his sordid story. In short: Brother took a laptop in to have it fixed. Then, in late January 2008, a picture of him in a compromising position with an Asian starlet appeared on the web.

At first, Chen gave the usual excuses—It’s not me, I’m being framed, etc. But, then, soon, more of the explicit flicks appeared, not just one or two, five or six, but dozens.

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The WineRack™ stuffs a polyurethane bladder, holding 25 oz. of your preferred liquid refreshment, underneath a black, sports bra-shaped harness. By covertly sucking from a connected tube, as shown at right, users can replenish dry gullets at sporting events, on subways, or even during long walks on the beach. It comes in small (32A thru 36A) and medium (34D thru 38B).

If you’re a woman, your kindest thought upon hearing about something like this might be, “That really doesn’t sound very comfortable,” especially for toting iced tea, though I’m only guessing here. Most males, on the other hand, would probably be awestruck by the sheer genius of reuniting breasts, liquid nourishment, and sporting events in one easy access, otherwise undetectable, over-the-shoulder-Bordeaux-holder.

Does it make me less of a man, however, that my first ruminations, when seeing this, were on terrorism? Given the difficulties the American public has been having getting liquids onto planes since the alleged 2006 transatlantic airliner plot, does this device do an end run around those obstacles?

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