Entries Tagged 'Humor' ↓

“Hey, Ninja Assassin! Thanks For Stopping By! I’ll Take Your Coat.”


Be real, folks: When a ninja visits your apartment, the worst thing you could do is offer him a regular old hanger for his jacket.

C’mon! Ninjas live lives of vitality, stealth, and daring. You need to make sure you have these Ninja Star Coat Hooks ready. Each 4″ x 4″ x 0.31″ weapon

bb94_ninja_star_coat_hook_installis made out of super strong, nickel-plated zinc alloy. One star tip is replaced with a screw, so you can just pick where you want it and screw it into your wall. It will look like a Ninja has attacked your office and you beat him so easily that you now mock his attempt by using his own weapons to hold up your coat. Wow, how did you get so awesome?

Ninja Star Coat Hooks, $12.99 ea.

[via 1designperday.com]

Today, I’m Thankful For “Guy Love.”


Fellow Scrubs-aholics, no doubt, have this duet from season 6 (“My Musical”) on total recall: After admitting a patient who hears everyone’s speech in the form of singing, the cast works out their usual issues, only tunefully.

For Turk (Donald Faison), left, and JD (Zach Braff), right, above, no topic trumps their bromance. (Favorite couplet: “It’s like I married my best friend / But in a totally manly way!”) Hence their “nothing gay about it” paean to the same.

235px-scrubs-cast-scrubs-dvdToday, I’m thankful Scrubs, one of my all-time favorite television shows, will be starting its ninth season on Tuesday, December 1. I’m not hopeful for the series, however. I hope I’m wrong.

Part of this nimble, surreal ensemble comedy’s appeal always lay in the way that it drew nuanced, fully-fleshed out characters, then kept them bumping into each other in highly combinatorial ways. (The central cast consisted of l-r, John C. McGinley, Neil Flynn, Sarah Chalke, Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Ken Jenkins and Judy Reyes.)

Though Braff’s character was central, and, thus, certain relationships were core to the series—see above—it’s hard to think of a character that didn’t have a significant storyline with any other one. So those relationships were, as they are in the best comedies, a big part of the show’s appeal.

150px-season_9_posterAll that seems to have been decapitated. After numerous false starts, word is that the new season changes the show’s location from a hospital to a medical school; that McGinley, Faison, and Flynn will be the only regulars, as other cast members make occasional appearances; and that a whole “new generation!” of scrubs will be entering the cast, right.

All of which is enough to make you long for earlier, better days, when Braff wasn’t yet making $350,000 an episode, and Scrubs hadn’t yet jumped the shark.

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“Why Michael Jackson Was the Greatest Ever,” by George Carlin.


Michael Jackson was, of course, one of my cultural heroes, but notoriously a punching bag, seemingly incapable of ever fighting back against those who taunted and tormented him.

97814391729571George Carlin, right, was another one of my esteemed art warriors, but 180 degrees away from Jackson in temperment, ripping new holes into targets at will. (Carlin died in June 2008; Jackson passed almost exactly a year later, in June 2009.)

So, when I heard that Carlin had once recorded a short statement about why Jackson was the greatest entertainer ever, “bar none,” needless to say, I was expecting a harsh, satirical assassination, given his notoriously acidic tongue and ribald takes on human folly.

Instead, the results, though scarcely a minute in length, and profane–audio NSFW, kiddies–are also profound. Carlin not only defends and hails Jackson, but he takes carefully considered aim at sacred American heroes, like Elvis and Sinatra, to make his point.

In honor of the recent, posthumous release of Carlin’s autobiography, Last Words, co-authored with Tony Hendra, above, I give you the Man…and the Man in the Mirror.

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Grin and Bare It: Sarah Palin Is Still Running Off At the Mouth.

Conan O’Brien aired this “Palin on Oprah” bit, above, last night—re-editing bits and pieces of the former Alaska governor / vice-presidential candidate’s Monday appearance from the popular talk show. However, the funniest aspect of it was that, except for her slightly faster speaking tempo, she actually sounds pretty much the way she always does: As though there’s a 3/4 second delay between what comes out of her mouth and when she hears it do so.

My favorite part (and soon to be yours)?: Her shameless gush over her and her husband’s clearly robust sex life. Inspire us all once again, Sarah.

[via Hulu]

I Went To War With Acid-Spewing Xenomorphs and All I Got To Show For It Was This Lousy T-Shirt.


UK designer / retailer Last Exit To Nowhere makes T-shirts for, perhaps, the most dedicated of movie fans: Those so geeked out on a particular film that they crave the logos of its barely mentioned, even merely-alluded-to, fictional corporations.

productimage-picture-the-overlook-hotel-hooded-top-536I don’t mean, like, say, The Daily Planet, Superman / Clark Kent’s well-known, Metropolis-based, but nonexistent newspaper. We’re talking more like Weyland-Yutani, Inc., above, the interplanetary megacorporation; owner-operator of the massive Nostromo and Sulaco spaceships from Alien and Aliens, respectively. Or the Slaughtered Lamb, that unfriendly-to-strangers, soupless pub in An American Werewolf in London. Have you ever thought of spending a winter weekend at the Overlook Hotel, right? Believe me: Not if you saw The Shining, first.

productimage-picture-amity-police-cap-454With stylized imagery representing fake companies in flicks from The Silence of the Lambs to Back to the Future; Jaws, right, to National Lampoon’s Vacation, there’s probably something for every cinema nerd out there. Hoodies abound, as do caps and fitted tops for ladies. There’s even a kids’ section, so you can start decking out your future aesthete early. Last Exit To Nowhere movie tees, $30; hoodies, $50. Sizes S to XXL. Hats, $20, one size fits all. Shipping to U.S., $6.65 for the first item, $1.70 for each additional item. So, unlike a Cahulawassee River expedition, you won’t get screwed…on the price.

The Sauce Is Strong With This One.


Lightsaber chopsticks. I mean, what more need be said?

In Vader Red, above, Yoda Green, or Skywalker Blue. The Mon Calamari love ’em. Lightsaber chopsticks, $12, Amazon Japan.

[via streetlevel.com]

That’s Some Sweet Goatee, Goat.


Try not to drool over this super-cool poster, above, from The Men Who Stare At Goats, out this Friday, November 6. As Overture Films notes on their YouTube channel, the movie

was inspired by Jon Ronson’s non-fiction bestseller of the same name, an eye-opening and often hilarious exploration of the government’s attempts to harness paranormal abilities to combat its enemies.

The flick stars George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Ewan McGregor, and Kevin Spacey, all somberly coin-profiled on the poster. But besides the dry humor of the Illuminati-ish background graphics—and the trailer, below—what I dig most are the image’s soothing ochre tones, the full credit for “Goat,” and that hair on his chinny-chin-chin. The Men Who Stare At Goats original one-sheet, 27 in. by 41 in., rolled, single-sided, $18, Movieposter.com.

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Say What You Want About Keanu Reeves’ Acting, People: His Career Is Going To Last Forever.


Whoa: Why is it, as TMZ reported last year, that actor Keanu Reeves, above, has seemingly not aged in a decade-and-a-half?

screen7Because, according to this YouTube video, below, not only is Reeves the beneficiary of a notoriously immobile, and thus unwrinkled, face, but he is also one of the eternal undead.

That is, Reeves is also French actor Paul Mounet, right. (Go ahead. Take a close look: The resemblence is uncanny.) Born in 1847, the thespian allegedly “died under unusual circumstances; no body was ever found.”

Yeah, right. Well, at least it would explain what they say about Reeves’s acting. After 150 years, you’re bound to be a little stiff.

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[via Buzzfeed.com]

Pork Bellies.


It’s great to see Boost Mobile running the best written, best acted, best produced, best commercial of 2009 again, above, after a whole summer off.

An obvious advertising masterpiece from the time you first see it, “Pigs, Unwronged” is delectably dense with details: The lead’s momentary disbelief that he’s being ogled for eating hog; his candid excuse (“I like a nice ham”) and self-serving rationalization for cannibalism (“We’re just enjoying the flavors of a fallen friend.” “True,” burps his dinnermate); the fluid, expressive body language of the animatronic (watch the ears); the perfectly cast, bored urbanity of the voice actor; that dismissive hoof flick which closes the piece.

It all adds up to 30 seconds of twistedness from an alternate universe where pigs talk, go to fine restaurants, and you’re wrong for recklessly eyeballing porkers chomping pork. Boost Mobile not only gets the viewer’s attention, but makes the ad an event, rewarding you for sticking with it. In other words, they win. Though I’m not their market, those swine slay me.

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It’s Hard Out Here For a Thug.

The recession is affecting all of us, for sure. Leave it to reduced baller Slim Thug and Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show, though, to uncover the ways that rappers are, purportedly, most being affected: With fewer platinum front purchases, dinners at strip clubs, and a diminished quality in “video hos.”